My body was never Mine

I was not asked,

At the moment of conception

To be born into hatred,

To not witness real love between two people.

I was told, I should not be chubby

At five years old,

My uncle’s called me chunky.

My body was not my own,

In the hospital room in the same year,

When my mother was busy

My father was annoyed,

He sent me with a complete stranger,

For an ice cream,

So I wouldn’t scream…

My body was not my own,

When my favorite uncle,

Told me it was ok,

We were best friends and we could someday get married…

It wasn’t my fault,

I thought it was completely normal,

That Glenn took advantage of the broken lock,

When I was nine I couldn’t even cry.

I blocked it out, and my body kind of liked it?

At fifteen, you left me,

Broken and confused…

Then ran far far away.

I hate you.

My body was not my own,

When my parents told me to sign a purity contract…

I didn’t even realize I was no longer pure.

Seventeen I met,

My match? No. He wasn’t.

It wasn’t his to take, when I begged for marriage first.

My body was never Mine.

Until my body was yours.

At 27 I met my forever.

A gentle hand.

An honest love.

My body is not my own.

My body and mind, soul and heart just the same…

I’m yours.

Lia Rayne 11.11.17

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