There’s really no way you can encounter empathetic people by the type of a fingertip.
Naturally everyone has their devout followers, those that listen to your words and hang off of them with every breath. I’ve used no names to tell my story. I appreciate the fact that others have something to say.
But be known. I do not hold any animosity towards those I have cut Karmic ties to.
I’m Elated that I am popular by demand. I expect it. Give me more inflation for my ego.
However. I do not take blame for things I was not responsible for. Look at infestations of other manners. I saw my situation was manifesting into nothing but frustration and pure hatred towards the Earth (Karmic) family members I had a problem with walking away from in the past.
The thing of this is, whenever I am fearful because of a situation, which might I add, I haven’t been as of late. I am reminded, that things that I walked away from were for the benefit of my own family. I apologize if you saw things that you were meant to actually look deeper into, and understand, you missed something. A long time ago.
I’ve apologized to those I needed to, because they were part of my own Truth that I was aware of handling improperly. They were stepping stones.
My own family? They were simply there, to teach me lessons I could pass on, to not pass on to my own children.
There was so much pettiness in the Karmic lesson, so much that was holding my own family back, because I felt obligated to the woman who gave birth to me.
I thought. She couldn’t take care of herself, from the moment I got here, she was struggling to find herself. My leaving my earth family was simply because they have no idea how far into trash and depression, anxiety, they really are. What other people think of you is just a barrier.
Things that are negative manifest into things that are detesting. From infidelity, to infestations. You place blame on others for those things because those are what you most fear. Your fear manifests itself into things that you do not want to be around. I know, because I’ve placed a lot of shit in my life that didn’t need to be there. The Anxiety, Depression, that was all underneath was just suffocating me. I didn’t realize that I had suppressed these specific memories to the degree that I had, til I felt trapped by the Karma my own mother had developed in her life.
The difference between myself, and The woman that tried (and failed) to raise me, but by my own grace, considering I was raising 2 younger brothers from the time I was 9 years old up until I chose to change my path and marry my Karmic ex husband. It was all beautiful and rose colored at first. Because everyone around me that was trying to tell me NOT to marry him, was neglecting to say “Don’t marry him, this is why…” You know that old saying, When you encourage someone against something, they want it more? Yep. Story of my life. Do you know why? Because that was her Path.
When I was 15 months old. I remember screaming in my Earth Father’s arms. Reaching out to my mother, because she was too fucking weak to stand up for herself, let alone a small child. I was taking care of myself from the moment I was born on.
I’m an Original Indigo. First Wave.
Please refrain from any negativity, if your path is not Spirituality, I will respect your thoughts, as long as you respect mine.
There is no god.
I have been waiting so long to verbalize this, I waited literally 37 years. Considering from the time I was in the womb I was questioning this “god” these morons kept listening to, that would take them down a path of ignorance, not even closely related to justice, and harmony.
Have you been to a real church lately? Have you listened to the hate, rage, anger that spews from there lips? I mean, goddamn, fast forward about 13 years since I last entered a Church, when I was 24. Still seeking after I married my Karmic… I was the mother of 3 by 23. Where was my influence?
Nevermind where my influence was at that point. I had non. I had myself. I didn’t trust myself at that time, not even a little bit. The intuition was getting stronger though. I’d already experienced what most women would consider a tragic pregnancy, not with the loss of a child, but with a child born with a disability, as they would call it in today’s Society. Now, don’t get your panties in a bunch. I mean, I loved my son, and couldn’t imagine why there were so many people afraid to look at an innocent child born with something that was not his will, but part of my growing experience?
Apparently the woman before me couldn’t handle having a child with special abilities, let alone, a child whom had a child with a disability.
I’ll never forget the night I had you Kyle (formerly Scotty). Everyone around me was in shock. As I had already accustomed myself to the fact that you would be special. Unilateral Cleft Lip & Palate, was NOT a challenge for me. Bring it on “god”.
The Universe has bigger plans for me.
I’m slightly ranting. Because it helps release the negative energy that others have been trying to accumulate in my current life. It’s unfortunate that perfect strangers (And I refer to anyone who is NOT in my current life at least every day or every other day) as Strangers. You do not know my life or situation.
Someday, with names, and events, and even sometimes dates, or “this was nineteen-eighty something” type theme. I’m not going anywhere. I already left those behind that needed to be stones instead of pillars.
Please do not test my patience, do not test my worth. Do not test my abilities, to call anyone out, on anything. Because I now am aware of my truth. I have kept my entire truth to myself, for my Memoirs, but I am saving my Journal (wordpress) for my sanctuary. If you leave me a comment, know that I will not approve or comment on ignorance. I Have moved on, I hope everyone else can do so as well, and unless they want their names put out there when I do finish my Memoirs, Please refrain from giving me fuel. I fear no god, and fear nothing else for that matter. Please “Don’t Play with me”, I simply will not allow you to “fuck with my vibe”.
However, I know I am important enough to keep using my name. It’s been proven lately. I say nothing. I will retaliate only if it’s taken any further. I understand it’s just not easy to stop following me or wanting to know what’s going on with my life. However, I’m not afraid of what I post here. You cannot take my flame. 😉
LET ME SMUDGE THE BULLSHIT OUT OF YOU! 🙂 Picture for attention considering I’m simply too lazy to take a picture of cleansing my space every day! 🙂 I realize I’m a camera whore, but… c’mon